GOP all the way!

So much for my days as a Democrat, I’m a Republican all the way now. Yesterday afternoon we noticed a white van with a logo that said something about catering that was behaving oddly. It kept driving slowly back and forth on our block. It would go up a few houses and sit. Then back down the other way and sit. That kept up for 10 or 15 minutes.

Shortly after it left, I noticed a white box slightly smaller than a shoebox sitting on the grass in our front yard. I thought it was probably trash, but it was neatly lined up with the sidewalk and I finally decided it must have been placed there. My wife’s from Northern Ireland, so I was slightly suspicious of mystery boxes sitting in front of my house. But after a couple of minutes curiosity overtook suspicion and I went out to see what it was.

The box had a printed label addressed to me, but there was no postage on it. It apparently had been hand delivered, I assumed by the “catering” van. I brought it inside and 90% in jest, told my wife to wait in the other room with the door closed in case it blew up when I opened it. I opened it and lo and behold, it was a bottle of “Crawford Texas Western White House Barbecue Sauce” from local restauranteur Eddie Deen. Along with it was a letter from Mr. Dean encouraging me to vote for Amir Omar for Congress in the upcoming Republican primary.

I get stuff from the Republican party and various Republican candidates all the time and I’m not sure why. I even got a letter from GWB himself calling me a friend and encouraging me to show my close personal friendship with him by giving to some Republican committee or other. But nobody, Republican or Democrat, had tried to bribe me with food before. I’m Republican all the way now. After all the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.

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2 Responses to GOP all the way!

  1. Omar Campaign Admits to Gifts-For-Votes Scheme

    Dallas – Borrowing a page from Michael Moore and Al Gore, Republican Congressional Candidate Amir Omar- running in the March 7th primary against Wilson Aurbach- has admitted to distributing “thousands” of bottles of gourmet BBQ sauce to voters in District 30 in an effort to influence their vote.

    But federal law prohibits exactly the sort of gifts-for-votes scheme in which the Omar Campaign is currently engaged: no one may offer something of value – whether it’s a $100 bill or a bottle of BBQ sauce – to get someone to the polls.

    The ban was part of the Voting Rights Act of 1965, which included a section specifically forbidding anyone from offering or accepting payment “either for registration to vote or for voting.” (42 U.S.C.A. § 1973i(c); See Also 18 U.S.C. § 597)

    This law has been interpreted to cover all bribes geared toward coaxing voters to their polling stations. In recent years, liberal film-maker Michael Moore’s attempt to persuade college students to vote for John Kerry with Ramen noodles and clean underwear, and the Al Gore 2000 Campaign’s distribution of free cigarettes to potential voters in Milwaukee were both deemed to violate federal law.

    The Omar Campaign’s apparent violation of this law is particularly egregious, because the distribution of “thousands” of illegal gifts has the real potential to influence the outcome of an election in which traditionally only about 7,000 Republican households vote. The current maximum punishment for such a transgression is five years in prison and a $250,000 fine.

    This does not appear to be the first time that Mr. Omar has run afoul of the law. He was convicted in 1994 for theft in Brazos County, Texas, a crime for which he plead guilty and was sentenced to a monetary fine, 270 days in jail, and 80 hours of community service. Omar’s sentence was later probated. Omar’s criminal history combined with his legally
    questionable gifts-for-votes scheme and his lack of any voting record would seem to make him an easy target for the Democrats in the Fall.

    For additional information, please call (214) 749-4644 or visit

  2. Pingback: Silence is Foo » Blog Archive » On the Frontburner

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